Do I really want to know?

Yesterday, I heard on the news that you can test your child's DNA to see if they are pre-disposed toward athleticism. Hmmm. Immediately I thought of sending my own DNA in for testing to see if I could justify why I have a tendency to sit on my fat ass. I can actually predict the wording of the test results: "This female will have no predilection for athleticism due to her incredibly short legs (genetic trait from mother), ugly knees (genetic trait from father) and imbalance due to tinntitus [ringing of the ears] (genetic predisposition to listen to music too loudly)."


Then I thought, what if someone sent in Michael Jordan's or Tiger Woods' DNA (under an alias, of course) to test the DNA test itself? After those thoughts, I did a little more digging on the internet and found out that these Halls of Science can also test for things like Adult ADHD and Alzheimer's disease.


I could send in my DNA for testing (to confirm that I have ADD, and to probably predict I'll get Alzheimer's), but do I really want to know for sure? I've already learned to cope with my inability to focus, and uber-distractiveness by noise and movement. I put my car keys in the same spot now by habit and out of necessity of finding them again. I've learned to make lists. 


But do I really want to know that in a few short years I'll be mistaking my daughters for my sisters? Or that I'll be demanding my afternoon glass of wine at 10 o'clock in the morning?? I think the only truly helpful thing to come out of a test like this would be if they sent the results to my children so that they could prepare for the inevitable. They should start taking classes right now like "Dealing with Difficult People" and such. If they think I'm contrary now, just wait!