When I am wealthy and an under-employed computer geek, I will invent an app for my iPhone that tracks all the dumb stuff that I do. There is a reason we should learn from our mistakes; if we don't, they might eventually kill us. What if we shared our foibles with others so that they can take heed? Either this is a brilliant idea, or it will be a successful way to counter natural selection and we'll end up with a world full of incredibly stupid people that have the capacity to remember not to do stupid stuff.
Either way, I'll share with you all some of my recent gaffs so that you can learn from my mistakes and ensure the future of your gene pool:
Don't take your contacts out after cutting pepper-jack cheese bare-handed. Believe it or not, I was actually pretty slow to figure this one out. Each time I removed my contacts, I was thinking that I hadn't washed the soap off of my hands thoroughly enough due to the slight stinging sensation that resulted. This piece of wisdom finally dawned on me the day I cubed up an entire loaf of cheese and later that night introduced capsaicin via my fingertips onto my eyeballs. After several seconds of excruciating pain, I had an eye-opening (ahem) "aha" moment.
When carrying large quantities (aka a gallon jug) of water in your car, make sure the cap is securely fastened. Turning is usually required to get from point A to point B. Enough said.
When your MacBook Pro won't boot, don't rely on internet advice to fix it yourself. A little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. One wiped-clean hard-drive later, you will never experience such deep and utter humiliation as in front of a true computer repair expert.
Maybe I should stop here before you question why I elected to extend my gene pool. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating against taking risks or trying new things. I am advising to think beyond the initial task, weigh possible consequences, and admit when things could have been done differently.
Since I am unwilling to give up my pepper-jack addiction, I will have to be creative in regards to ways to cut it up. Perhaps if I soak my hands in milk afterwards.....
When my kids were young, I felt that I could help shape the way they looked at the world. I would ask them either, "What was something funny that happened today?" or "What was something that you learned today?" My kids are now all in their 20's, verging on 30's, and I still love to ask these questions.
My intention was that if I asked them often enough, they would start looking for something amusing, or remember something interesting that happened during their daily activities, anticipating my interrogations at the end of the day. I was hoping that with this mind-frame, it might actually help to influence their attitude toward how they perceive their life.
Now, when my kids call me on the phone, the one thing they can always count on is that I am going to be wanting to hear something humorous or fascinating that has happened to them. I'm not sure that this has actually changed the way they look at life, but it does give me something to chuckle over and repeat to my friends. Some of the best examples of these things was when my oldest son was working as a night porter at a 4-star, dog-friendly, hotel that was often frequented by celebrities. People-interactions at Starbucks and Powell's Book Store, from my daughters, are also great fodder for human interest stories.
But today, it just struck me that I, myself, have perhaps slipped away from my own philosophy, and am focusing mostly on the frustrations and obstacles that I encounter during the course of my own day! I unload these experiences and interactions on anyone who might listen. Probably not a positive experience for anyone concerned. Perhaps this is one reason that I have been unmotivated to even write my blog for the past 12 months.
This realization struck me so profoundly that I feel that I have found my "muse" again. Hopefully, I can begin sharing these again with anyone who might be interested. Feel free to check back...
