Found in Translation

As of late, I've been perusing Craigslist to see if it is possible to find "better accommodations". Translated, that means a place where the walls don't mold, there isn't termite doodoo falling all over everything, there isn't a dusty unpaved road in front of the house, and perhaps there would be an enclosed yard.


But, I am finding that my standards could possibly be unreachable here on Kauai. The other things on my wish-list for housing also include: a nice view, within earshot of the ocean, not in a neighborhood, dogs allowed, high ceilings, it catches trade winds, not too far from work, and, of course, a solar water heater would be nice.


What I am finding, though, is that there is a special language employed by those who post rentals. But no worries! I am here to translate.


Cozy = usually under 800 sq. ft. (yes, there are plenty of these)
Water included = the landlord lives on the property and doesn't want to break out the bill
No dogs = there are already 50 dogs on or near the property
Furnished = circa 1975 hotel motif
Utilities included = there are other renter(s)/landlord on the property
Ocean view = If you stand on the roof, you may spot an inch of blue
Country setting = dirt driveway
One mile from beach = As a crow flies. Does NOT imply view of beach
Shared washer and dryer = the landlord or other renter(s) on property
Cute Hawaiian Shack = nature close at hand (outdoor shower, ants, spiders, and centipedes)
Lots of mirrors = Feng shui to make 400 sq ft look like 1,000 sq ft.
Downstairs unit = bottom part of two story house. Landlords usually above
Steep driveway = usually unnavigable in a vehicle
No smoking, no drugs = landlord lives on property and they have small kids


I could go on, but you get the picture. I'll put my desires out to the universe anyway. You never know, the perfect place might be waiting for me; posted by someone who does not speak the Craigslist language yet.


Wish me happy hunting!

Pointing at the moon

“When a finger points to the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger”

Chinese Proverb 

Oh, my gosh. Did you see the moon tonight/last night (depending on when you are reading this)? It was the biggest and brightest moon I have seen in a very long time.  Which is saying a lot because, here in Hawaii, we get to see a lot of moons due to expansive vistas, clear skies, lack of extremely tall evergreen forests that blot out the sky, lack of pollution, reasonable viewing temperatures, I really could go on and on.

Anyway, it took me a little by surprise because I haven’t been noticing the phases as of late. But I think my body clock already knew the waxing moon was on its way. My inner urgings were telling me to plant; plant seeds, plant seedlings, plant plants. Get in the dirt and plant something!

Over the past week and a half I have planted two papaya trees, two cherry tomatoes, three loofah seeds, three sweet pepper seeds, three spider plant babies, and an orchid. All of the seeds have now sprouted and are beginning to shed their little seed-pod hats. I’ve even taken measures to protect my papaya trees from the neighbor dogs by enclosing them in a flexible net (this will keep the wild chickens from digging them out as well).

Historically it has been shown that during a waxing moon (from no moon to a full moon) you should plant above-ground plants. During a waning moon (from the full moon to no moon), you should plant below-ground plants. This has to do with the moon affecting not only the ocean tides but also water tables and even the fluids inside the plants! Greeks and Romans knew these facts and it has apparently been passed down through folklore and with the help of The Farmer’s Almanac for centuries.

So, my window of opportunity to plant any more foliage-type plants has closed and I should now consider putting some taro, carrots, or potatoes in the ground. But I won’t. Like the moon, I feel my energy waning as well and my body fluids firmly planting me back onto my couch in front of my computer.

Now all I need to add is a little water and watch the magic happen. Ain’t life great?