Saturday, February 5, 2011

It really isn't about the bone

The other night, I was watching my dogs with the bones I had given them. On the rug in the middle of the living room was a collection of four 6" tubular-type cow bones, some of them quite old, bleached, and gnawed-looking. The dogs switched back and forth from bone to bone, deciding which ones had the best remnant flavor...I thought.  Then I noticed something interesting. Whatever bone the non-dominant dog (Koko`o, the larger of the two) had, the smaller, dominant dog (Bean), wanted. Call it what you will, but there was definitely a power-play going on.  Posturing, tug-of-wars, teasing, and body-blocks were all employed in the "Dance of the Bones".


Their behavior wasn't really about the bones and which one tasted the best; it was about who had control over the overall situation. It is where ingrained behavior bests common sense; enabling a 10 lb. canine to out-maneouver another dog 4 times her size. For Koko`o, it might have been about which bone was the best, but for Bean it was all about control. 


How many times have I beaten my head against the wall because, defying logic, people did not behave the way I had expected them to (i.e. one for me and one for you)? It is all clear to me now. Daily decisions and interactions do not rely entirely on what is right or wrong on a global, humanitarian scale. Decisions are made relying on what is right or wrong for the "ME" in the situation ("ME" being the person needing the most control). I see this behavior over and over again. 


Oh, we all have situations that we feel we need to control, some of us more than others. But maybe every once in a while we can focus more on the bone and less on the "ME". The world would be a happier place, and I would finally get what I want. Just kidding. Kind of.

1 comment:

Becca said...

Oh, I loved hearing about the pups! And I totally remember this behavior.
Loved it.