Okay, now that I've weeded out the innocents, I can tell my horrifying story. I arrived, as usual, to work this morning, but this time I had a cooler bag with me. Inside the cooler bag was my lunch for the day. I went to the kitchen, where I placed the meatloaf and spinach into the fridge, leaving my unzipped bag on the counter.
Several hours later, as I was heating up the spinach and warming the meatloaf in the mircowave, I reached over to grab an apple out of my bag. EEK! A quick flash of black rat fur lunged toward me, gaining momentum as it sprung from my flailing arm. It jumped from me to the floor and scooted underneath the ice box. In that split second, my lungs came to life way before my brain, screaming like a banshee. I actually remember that I took three breaths to let out that scream and when my brain finally did catch up it was yelling to my lungs, "Stop that terrible screaming, woman!"
First to reach me, naturally, was my coworker that has a two-year-old. She quickly assessed the situation and turned away grinning. Another coworker, upon hearing what had happened, felt great relief. He had heard the screams and he was dreading coming into the kitchen imaging copious amounts of blood everywhere and envisioning that he would have to be the one to grab my bloody stump to staunch the flow. Another work mate had thought that I had possibly spilled hot oil all over myself and was screaming in agony.
I'm not sure what is more upsetting to me: the fact that a giant rodent invaded my lunch bag and danced the hokey pokey on my head, or all of my coworkers jumping to the conclusion that I was capable of causing grievous bodily harm while fixing myself lunch.
The culprit was later apprehended and did not live out the day to tell his plague-infested little brood that he made a grown woman scream. Balance has been restored.
2 comments:
Gauh guah guah... I'm choking on my disgust and horror!! I can't even click any of the reactions thingies because none of them are Completely Traumatized!
Ceph clawed up into my lap as I read this . . . he's lucky he's still in the same room! I turned into a complete scaredy-cat just hearing a rat and finding evidence in the garage! I wouldn't go to the freezer without banging on things and peeking around the corner to see if the coast was clear --- hoping that they were hiding. (I think Larry killed about 15 by the time they finally moved on - or out.) I cant even imagine how awful your close encounter was, except I'll probably have nightmares tonight. Maybe I'll let Ceph sleep on my head again tonight! At least your tormentor won't be scaring anyone else, and at least your coworkers ran TO you, not away!
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