Battle to the death

Last evening I waited a little too long before I drew the screen door across all of the unwanted creatures of the night. On this fateful evening, my true nemesis entered into my abode, undetected, and started wreaking unfettered havoc upon my person. This assailant? Aedes albopictus; the Asian Tiger Mosquito, vector for dengue fever. Cue music: Duhn dun dunnnn...


Okay, well, it would have been poking tiny little bloody holes of dengue fever in me, if dengue fever were here in Hawaii, but fortunately this is not the case.  But it was poking tiny little bloody holes in me all evening and by the time I was ready for bed I was covered with bites and bruises (the bruises from slapping myself silly trying to get da little bugga).


How in the hell does this world-class irritating pest not only elude my whacking but decide when and where to bite me at my most vulnerable spots? Well, apparently, this is not a process for thought at all. A mosquito brain is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Not a lot of room in there for decision-making. They actually rely on chemistry. I happened upon an article that was so interesting to me I have to quote from it with abandon.


"Chemical traces in the air tell a hungry adult female mosquito that an appropriate victim is in the vicinity". Apparently, even if you wear a repellent, they can get confused, but they still find you.  And by "appropriate victim" I think that this means which person has the least amount of clothing on.


"The pricking is a complex business, involving a flexible tube made up of six highly specialized mouthparts". Some of these parts are serrated and they are used to saw through the tissue. Yuck. I'm picturing steak knives with suction tubes.


"A successful mosquito will suck up about one-millionth of a gallon of blood. That doesn't sound like much, but it may amount to four times her original weight".  That would be equivalent to Uncle Billy Bob guzzling  about 1,067 Bud Lights at one go!  "Stretch receptors in her bulging abdomen send full-tank signals to her dot-sized brain, which tells her to disengage and get away". I wish I had stretch receptors. Hmmm. Sounds like a good diet invention.


Fortunately for me, I was able to end the miserable tormenting. Unfortunately for it, I shortened her month-long life by hopefully, um, a month. I'd like to boast that I've helped saved humanity from this nasty pest, but I just read that mosquitoes have been around for about 79 million years. Definitely longer than humans. But not longer than cockroaches. But that is another story...