Hello? Can you hear me now?

This is my latest creation. It is made from telephone wires that were pulled out of an underground conduit feeding a building we are about to move our offices into. "Out with the old and in with the new" meant a new art project for moi.


I actually went online to find out how the Africans make their wonderfully constructed and colorful baskets, but apparently this is a well kept secret for this developing nation. With all of the internet at my fingertips, including Youtube, there was nowhere to be found information on this skill-set. 


Oh well, this is my version. And, if I had more patience with this type of project, my second one would look much better. But there will probably not be a second one. Maybe a coaster or two. Weʻll see. Iʻll have to wait until my swollen thumb recovers and my arthritic fingers cease to throb.

Sliced Soap: Good old fashioned tar soap

Mmmm mm! Just like Granny used to bathe with. Here I am with more sudsy goodness for you. This is Pine Tar soap. It makes a nice white lather and boasts of pure goodness for your dry and itchy skin. 


In the olden days (circa long-ago) tar soap and other tar-based medicinals had the base ingredient of coal tar.  Some medicinals are still available by prescription, but mostly are not sold because of the carcinogenic nature of coal tar in strong doses. What developed, then, was the use of pine tar as a handy substitute. Same medicinal qualities without the bad side effects.


This 4+oz bar of soap is a bit on the soft side so you would want to be sure to keep it out of standing water when not in use. It has a nice strong smell of pine and rinses nicely. It is made from a blend of coconut, canola, palm, olive, and soy oils with added pine tar and, of course, lye.


If dry and itchy skin bothers you, or eczema or psoriasis leave your skin with dry patches, you may want to give this soap a try. Dandruff? Yes, it can even be used as a shampoo bar! 


If you are interested in some, contact me! ($3/bar plus shipping)

When I Grow Up

Iʻm sure that all of you have at one point in your lives declared, "When I grow up, Iʻm going to be a ..."  I mean, after all, this is the quintessential Rights of Passage for all human beings. This is what separates us from the rest of the animals in our kingdom; the ability to Plan Ahead.


For most, this declaration first occurs around the age of 5. We enter kindergarten, look around, see the rest of the pack, and decide what will make Us better than Them. Fireman, cheerleader, chef, action hero, or doctor.  As we progress through life, our future career choices become more sophisticated with loftier aspirations. 


Around High School, we now consider professional ball player, Hollywood actor or singer, or even perhaps an independently-wealthy world traveler. 


College hones our choices, making us rely on what can be readily financed and we choose nuclear physicist, teacher, lawyer, computer programmer, or librarian. For those that did not choose college the reality of life hits a little sooner and sometimes choices are made for us; mechanic, retail clerk, domestic services, etc. 


So, what do I want to be when I grow up? Ballerina, musician, architect, artist, wife, mother, housecleaner, project manager, environmentalist, inventor, writer, philanthropist. The list keeps on going...


In the end, I think what I want most to be is to be remembered.

As seen on TV

Today I washed my shower curtain. This is a little something I like to do every so often until the rusted rings start looking like, well...gone. But not this time.  This time, after the washing, I coated the whole curtain with NeverMold. What?! Incredible, you say? Too good to be true? Yes, indeedy.


This afternoon, my co-workers were talking about some fabulous invention (As Seen On TV) that sliced, and diced, and made smoothies, and maybe even folded laundry. Something called a Bullet. I know not of this device, having not had a real TV viewing experience in about, oh, 15 years, but it sounded fantastic. So, it got me thinking about what other cool inventions that would be a Must Have.


Like Poop-Be-Gone, for my back yard. Scrub-No-More, for the kitchen sink. The Fat Melter for weight loss. Odor Eaters for uh, never mind, that one already exists. Chin-Hair-Away for, well, you get the idea.


What I actually need the most is Dog-Come-Here and Insta-dinner. Many Money and Red Dirt Zapper would also come in handy. But, what I guess Iʻm stuck with is Greasy Elbow and Work-Be-Hard.

Time flies

Do you realize that one fourth of the new year, 2010 is already over with? Also, have you ever noticed that when there are deadlines afoot, time seems to speed up?


Recently, as grants, reports, and spending deadlines have been looming over my head, I am struck by the incongruency of time and space.  I now realize that there is a peculiar balance that the universe needs to keep when all of these chaotic demands are spiraling out of control. There seems to be a direct correlation between deadlines that approach at light speed and the information one needs for these deadlines arriving at a snailʻs pace. As time speeds up for one thing, it is slowed right back down for another.


Thus we ride the roller coaster of time; caught in an endless loop and destined to repeat it with  abandon. 


Yesterday, as I waited an eternity at the stop light to exit the Safeway parking lot, I notice that I barely had enough time to make it home before dark (essential to navigating the copious land mines my neighborʻs dogs leave scattered around where I park).

The day before I crept through traffic, taking an eternity to get to work, as the minute-hand raced to the appointed starting time of my work day. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. The cycle continues.  How fast does time fly? Faster than the speed of light, and slower than eternity. 

Ten things

Ten things that you should know about me:

1.  My family moved around a lot when I was a kid. I even went to kindergarden in three different states. I think that this is one reason I find making and keeping friends so difficult.

2.  I think that having a sense of humor is more important than just about anything else. Having a sense of humor enables you to look at situations differently.

3.  I love music. I love it so much that after years of listening to it with padded "noise-reducing" headphones I have developed tinnitius (a constant and irritating ringing of the ears). It was worth it.

4.  I am a grammar and formatting freak.  I even put all the proper punctuation into my text messaging.  When I have to fill in a digital form, I usually re-format it before I send it back.

5.  When I was about 6 years old, on a car trip with my family driving from California to Oregon, I got left behind at a scenic pull-out.  It was one of my sisters that noticed that I was missing from the car (the obvious void in the front seat between my Father and Mother). My father had told us all, "DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR. IʻM ONLY GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE". After the parental units got out to admire the view, my desire to drink from the nearby water fountain was just too much to ignore.  When I was done quenching my thirst, I lifted my head, wiped the dripping water from my chin, and slowly came to realize that the big green station wagon was gone.  That formed who I am. I am now a "toe-the-liner" to the max.

6.  I am an art appreciator and love creativity. I love those who think "outside the box".

7.  Sometimes I will spend an entire day on the weekend in my pajamas tooling around on my computer; learning new programs, surfing the web, reading peopleʻs blogs, etc.

8.  I love to read books.  Humor, mysteries, fiction, self-help. Just about anything except romance.

9. Murder shows intrigue me. CSI, 48 Hours Mystery, etc. I hate to admit this. It is my dark side. I always come away from watching these shows absolutely amazed at the capacity of humans to totally disregard the sanctity of life. I mean, what kind of person murders their parent/child/ husband/wife?? Or dismembers their victims? Why does it fascinate me so? Humans may be a superior being because of our ability to reason, but we are still just animals by nature.

10.  I have an opinion about everything. Everything. Thus, a blog? Perhaps.

No more burnt toast

If you thought the sedating headgear was a great idea, this takes the cake. Never will you burn your toast again. Actually, you can burn it if you want, but at least you can observe every darkening stage first hand.


I'm not sure how this invention works, or, more importantly, if a bagel will fit into it, but someone should take off with this idea. It is a sleek, no fluff idea that belongs on my kitchen counter. No more losing those thin pieces of bread down into the bottom of the toaster. No more springing toasted projectiles. Move over, toaster oven, this contraption is the wave of the future!


I think that I can even smell an upright grilled cheese sandwich in my future.